


You, again.

by Practicemakesperfect



Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [12]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Both POVs, Exes, Fever, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practicemakesperfect/pseuds/Practicemakesperfect
Summary: It would be nice if the Baekhyun Kyungsoo was seeing were the actual Baekhyun, but his fever is making it hard to tell if he’s real or just a hallucination. Either way, he’d do anything just to get him to stay.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030035
Comments: 14
Kudos: 105





	You, again.

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking through my phone and I found this??? I wrote it like last year??? I read the whole thing and halfway through I was like man I don’t remember ever writing an end to this and was prepared to be disappointed but I actually did finish it????
> 
> I can’t believe I never posted this I shock myself. BUT here it is, and I love you guys enjoy!!

It was time.

It had _been_ time. Kyungsoo had known it for a while now; he needed to move on. People break up for a reason. Things change, relationships change, feelings change. He used to tell himself that when faced with a breakup that would be it. No begging, no drama. It ended for a reason. There was no point in wishing for it again.

And yet, he had betrayed himself—had wished and hoped and begged for Baekhyun because there was no logic when it came to him; there never had been. Fatal mistakes. Kyungsoo needed to stop hoping. But, fuck, it hurt like hell, missing him every day of his life, trying to pretend that he didn’t. He was sure Baekhyun didn’t feel the same. He’d been the one to end it in the first place. Looking at Kyungsoo with a closed expression, voice neutral as he said, “let’s break up.” There hadn’t been an ounce of regret in there at all.

Kyungsoo thought about this as he lay in his bed in the fetal position, comforter over his shoulders and a wet cloth on his forehead. He was burning up with a fever and probably absolutely delirious. He kept thinking how stupid it was, how he was dying and all he could think about was him.

He wished he were here.

Or no he didn’t. Fuck. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and turned over, a mixture of hot and cold that meant sweat and chills all at once. His mother had told him she wouldn’t be able to come over to drop off medicine, and Kyungsoo had resignedly told her it was fine, insisting he could manage on his own. A pretty clear lie, considering how he was now in the process of dying. But now that he’d said it he refused to go back on it, so here he was lying in a pool of his own regret. 

Oh, the woes of living alone.

Kyungsoo coughed and buried himself further under the covers. The shaking had started. He was cold. He dealt with it for a couple of seconds before he got up with a groan and the comforter in search for another blanket. They were probably in the closet down the hallway... Kyungsoo wanted to cry. It was so far away. But he was so cold. He forced himself to exit his room and shuffle down to the closet, only to be met with a sight that made him choke.

Baekhyun. In his apartment. With a plastic bag in one hand and the spare key he’d thought he’d lost months ago in the other. He was in the middle of closing the door behind him, but had paused upon Kyungsoo’s appearance, looking just as lost as Kyungsoo felt. Kyungsoo squinted even though he had his glasses on and coughed again.

“I’m definitely hallucinating,” Kyungsoo said out loud. He turned abruptly around and went back to his room, lying on the bed again with the comforter wrapped around him like a burrito. He didn’t even bother to take off his glasses. He was too sick for this. Already he was starting to imagine things... maybe he should just drive himself to his parent’s house, it was getting that bad.

After a moment he heard his door open and felt a second blanket layer on him. He felt his glasses being removed and a hand lay on his forehead.

“You’re burning up,” he heard Baekhyun tsk. Kyungsoo opened his eyes.

“You’re here,” he said.

“Yeah. Your mom called me... I guess you didn’t tell her.”

He couldn’t be real. Kyungsoo reached up and grasped Baekhyun’s hand, pulling it down. “You feel real,” he murmured. Kyungsoo shut his eyes for a moment, pressing his cheek against Baekhyun’s palm. 

Baekhyun searched his expression before sighing. “Come on, Soo. Just rest. I brought some medicine. I’ll heat up some soup and then get out of your hair, okay? So let go of my hand.”

Kyungsoo felt his stomach turn. Of course, even in his dreams he couldn’t get along with Baekhyun. Granted, in real life it was always him pushing Baekhyun away, but that was just because... 

Kyungsoo’s thoughts were interrupted by Baekhyun pulling his hand from his grasp. He watched Baekhyun disappear out the door and stared after him, not once tearing his eyes away until Baekhyun returned with a bowl. 

“Sit up and eat. It’s not as good as what you usually make but I did my best.”

Obediently, Kyungsoo got up and took the bowl, spooning some into his mouth before hissing at the heat. Baekhyun snatched the spoon from his hand and carefully took some of the soup in it, blowing softly.

“Be careful,” he chided, and Kyungsoo stared at him as he brought the soup to his lips, entranced by his focused gaze. 

He must have been hallucinating. But Baekhyun looked so real. Whoever he was treating like his boyfriend—ex boyfriend—god, Kyungsoo paused and shook his head, trying to clear it.

He went out on a limb and guessed. “I’m sorry, Jongdae.”

Baekhyun looked surprised. Then he frowned. “You’re really going crazy.”

“I know.” Kyungsoo accepted another spoonful. “I keep... this is going to sound weird.”

“Just say it.”

“I keep thinking you’re Baekhyun.” Fake Baekhyun paused, and Kyungsoo thought maybe he was trying to look unconcerned. “Don’t worry. I know you’re not him. I’m sorry if I do anything weird. Anyway. Forget I said anything.”

Baekhyun examined his face and Kyungsoo looked back. “Would you...” he ventured. “Would you like it if I were actually him?”

“You look like him. I never knew I could hallucinate this bad. You look like him right now. And you sound like him. And—“ Kyungsoo winced. “—my head hurts.”

“Lie down. You ate enough to take medicine.”

Kyungsoo laid down and watched Baekhyun move around the room. He really couldn’t think straight. “Dae. Thanks for coming.”

Baekhyun nodded. “You’re welcome, Soo. I was just going to stay here for a little to get you the medicine, but—“

“You don’t have to stay longer,” Kyungsoo said, already anticipating the end of that sentence. “You’ve done a lot already. Leave the bowl in the sink; I’ll wash it later. And I can take the medicine on my own. Is it every four hours?”

“No, I’m not letting you do that.” It was uncanny how even annoyed Fake-Baekhyun fell in line with the real one. “God, you really haven’t changed. You’re just as irritating as ever.”

Kyungsoo furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“How much have you guys been hanging out, anyway?” He heard Baekhyun mutter under his breath. “‘Dae.’ Since when have you called Jongdae ‘Dae?’”

“I don’t get what you’re saying,” Kyungsoo said. 

“Whatever. I’ll stay here for today, okay? So here, just take the medicine and I’ll wake you up to take it again.”

Kyungsoo sat up for a moment to swallow the pill then laid back down, watching Baekhyun shut the light.

“You’re going to get sick,” Kyungsoo said.

“I don’t care.”

“...Dae.”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Fake Baekhyun inhaled sharply. “ _What_?” 

“Never mind.” Kyungsoo turned over quickly and covered his head, feeling even more hot. “Forget it.”

Kyungsoo could feel his heart pounding and focused on steadying it. After a long moment of silence he heard him say, “Why would you want to kiss me?”

“You know why.”

“I don’t. Do you like me or something?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, even though he knew Jongdae wouldn’t be able to see him under the covers. “It’s stupid. I don’t know why I said it. Even though...”

“Even though what?”

“It’s just selfish. You know why. Because to me you look like Baekhyun right now and I just—it’s just—anyway, I don’t want you to get sick. I’m sorry I asked that. I just felt like asking it, for some reason.”

“Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo tried to ignore how much Jongdae’s voice sounded like Baekhyun’s. “Do you... do you still like Baekhyun?”

Kyungsoo rolled over, still hidden under the covers. “Don’t ask me that. You’re the one who’s always yelling at me to move on.”

There was a pause. And then: “...Jongdae, that little shit.”

Suddenly, Kyungsoo’s blanket was pulled from his face. And there was Baekhyun, looking at him with an intensity Kyungsoo had never seen before swirling in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked. Baekhyun didn’t respond. Instead, he searched his gaze before leaning down and kissing him.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes the instant their lips met. It was hot, but cold, but Kyungsoo just focused on the sensation of Baekhyun’s lips on his, like returning home. He didn’t even realize he was crying until Baekhyun pulled away a bit, sliding his thumb over his eyelids gently. “Shh... it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo said. Over and over again, he didn’t know who he was apologizing to anymore. Fake Baekhyun or Jongdae, but he just needed to say it. _I’m sorry_.

“Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo opened his eyes. Baekhyun’s gazed into his own. 

“I’m tired,” Kyungsoo said suddenly.

“You’re tired.” His expression was so, so soft. “Then go to sleep.”

“You should go,” Kyungsoo said, but the unspoken question hung in the air heavier, _can you stay?_

“What a baby.” Baekhyun brushed the hair from his eyes. “I’ll stay.”

When Kyungsoo drifted off, he did so with the plain realization that he’d imagined nothing.

—

Baekhyun went to the kitchen as Kyungsoo slept, cleaning the dishes and setting them on the rack to dry. He touched his lips and thought about what he’d just done.

God. He regretted it already. A lapse of judgement, a moment of weakness at the sight of Kyungsoo for once being vulnerable. Kissing his ex was a temptation he’d thought he’d never succumb to, and yet there he was, kissing him and worse—taking the initiative to do it first.

If anything, Baekhyun thought, irritated, _Kyungsoo_ should have been the one to kiss _him._ Why did it have to be him all the time? Even when they were dating, it was always him making the first move. It was always him who cared more.

Baekhyun sighed and made his way to the couch, lying down and opening his phone on impulse to scroll through social media. Forget it; resentment wouldn’t get him anywhere. He’d kissed him, and that was that. It didn’t mean anything. He’d just gotten caught up in the moment, in Kyungsoo’s moment of vulnerability that made him think about the what if’s...

After a while of scrolling Baekhyun put his phone down on the ground beside him and threw an arm over his eyes, sighing. He was feeling tired, suddenly.

Baekhyun sat up abruptly, already inwardly threatening Kyungsoo for getting him sick, but then resignedly laid down again and closed his eyes. If he got sick, maybe it’d be for the better. The bastard deserved to feel guilty, Baekhyun thought with a huff, after all Baekhyun was doing for him. Really, he didn’t know why he agreed to come. Probably because he loved Kyungsoo’s mom too much to say no, no matter how much he didn’t want to go. Yeah, that was it. He couldn’t deny Mrs. Doh. Only a heartless prick could do that, and Baekhyun was definitely not a heartless prick.

Baekhyun still didn’t quite understand why, out of everyone, Kyungsoo’s mother had chosen to call him. Even though they had broken up a couple of months ago. Even if Kyungsoo for whatever reason _hadn’t_ told his mom about the breakup, Baekhyun hadn’t been over in ages.

It didn’t make sense either way. Why Kyungsoo wouldn’t tell her, or why she would choose to call him if he did. But somehow things had ended up this way, and maybe Baekhyun was a fool to have gone along with it. Still... Baekhyun couldn’t get it out of his head. The way Kyungsoo had acted. It was burned into the back of his mind in a way that made it hard to drift off.

So he didn’t. He just laid there for a while with his eyes closed, stubbornly staying because he said he would and he felt like he would be losing if he just left like a coward. It took him a long time, but the moment he felt himself starting to drift he heard Kyungsoo pad out of his room and stop at the edge of the hallway just before the living room.

Baekhyun opened his eyes and turned over to stare back at him. His hair was disheveled, eyes tired and clothes wrinkled. He looked like a mess with his comforter draped over his head like a cloak. Baekhyun sat up. They looked at each other for a long moment.

“Did I wake you up?” Kyungsoo asked. His voice was more stable now. Baekhyun found that he almost missed the Kyungsoo from earlier, the one who seemed needy and wanted things, the one who vocalized more than the Kyungsoo he knew ever did. But then, that wasn’t the real Kyungsoo. That was just Kyungsoo delirious on a fever. Baekhyun felt his body stiffen.

“You didn’t. I was just resting.” Baekhyun got up and moved to the kitchen, taking out some soup. “Heat this up and eat it. Is your fever down?”

“I don’t know,” said Kyungsoo. His eyes never left Baekhyun. “Probably.”

Baekhyun nodded and moved to him wordlessly, laying the back of his hand to his forehead without expression. “You’re fine. If you feel like you need it, take more medicine. I’m going to head out now if you’re feeling better. You have my number if you need me.”

He turned his head and moved to walk away, but then he felt a hand on his wrist. He knew what was coming, and he waited until Kyungsoo could come up with the words before he turned back. “Can you stay?”

Baekhyun met his gaze. “Why?”

“Because.”

That was it. Baekhyun shook his hand free and turned around. Once upon a time, ‘because’ would have been enough. But since their breakup, Baekhyun had decided it wasn’t. It wasn’t what he wanted. ‘Because’ without a real answer. Everything without a real answer, I love you with only a kiss back, Baekhyun was tired of because. He wanted to be wanted. He wanted to be loved. He was tired of always having to reach out, of always having to fill in the gaps, and he told himself that he wouldn’t settle for that anymore.

So he walked away this time. It wasn’t enough. And maybe Kyungsoo knew that, because he spoke again before Baekhyun could get even five steps away. “Because I want you to be here.”

Baekhyun stopped then. He waited.

“I can’t just... see you and then let you go. Maybe if I hadn’t seen you I would have been able to just turn it off, but that’s a lie too. I have your pictures in my phone still. Even if I didn’t you’re still in my head all the time. I can’t just—“ Kyungsoo’s voice was unstable suddenly, and Baekhyun didn’t want to turn around and see why. “—I can’t just have you here and let you go without saying anything. You can go if it’s not okay. But I thought... maybe it would be okay to ask you to stay. Because... Because I still love you.”

Baekhyun turned around then, and Kyungsoo wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at the floor. “I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. Even a year from now. Even ten years from now. I could move on and still love you, and it doesn’t make sense but that’s how it is. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, and I get it. We broke up. I should just respect your decision. I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo looked up then, met Baekhyun’s gaze, and Baekhyun glared at him. “You’re so fucking irritating. Every time it’s like this. You always get your way. Why do you always get your way?” Baekhyun ran a hand through his hair and blew out sharply, frustrated. “I told myself I wouldn’t come back to you. I told myself that, and yet...”

Baekhyun shook his head and lifted his gaze, stepping forward. Kyungsoo’s eyes followed his every move. Quietly, Baekhyun asked, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

And, yes, he’d already said enough. But Baekhyun wanted more. He was greedy for it, for how Kyungsoo felt. He wanted all of it. Kyungsoo said, “I love you.”

And then they were kissing again, Baekhyun’s hand on Kyungsoo’s cheek, gentle. Kyungsoo pulled back a fraction, “you’re really going to get sick,” but he didn’t resist when Baekhyun covered his lips a second time, only tilted his head to give Baekhyun more control. Kyungsoo’s lips were chapped—Baekhyun thought to himself that he needed to make him drink water—but they were warm despite the fact that his fever had broken already. Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from grabbing his shoulders to deepen the kiss, and vaguely registered the comforter slipping off and falling to the ground.

He didn’t know how long the kiss lasted. But when it was over and he had pulled away he noted with satisfaction Kyungsoo’s closed eyes and heavy breaths, and couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at his lips when Kyungsoo opened his eyes to meet his and his cheeks reddened. 

“Um,” said Kyungsoo intelligently. 

“Um,” Baekhyun teased.

Kyungsoo’s ears were pink. He bit his lip and said, shyly, “Baekhyun. Will you go out with me? Again?”

“I would say no,” Baekhyun said. “But you’re just really hard to avoid.”

“Then...?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and pecked him on the lips again. “Yes, you idiot. I will. And I’ll stay. Now go drink some water. Your lips are chapped.”

Kyungsoo blinked. The smile that formed on his face made Baekhyun smile, too. It was unsurprising, this feeling. He was still in deep. But this time, he let himself feel it. It was a truth he could allow himself to admit, now. He was in love with this boy.

He’d always been.


End file.
